Shrouded Love, Forgotten Memories
by Umi-chii
Summary: [Updated: 011506] Sieg is having trouble with his feelings toward a certain swordsman while Shuda questions his own feelings of who he truly love. [Yaoi SxS]
1. A Glimpse of the Past

Disclaimer: I don't own Rave. But I do own the idea of making Shuda and Sieg's romantic past! D

FWEEHH! Yeah! Umi-chii is back from the grave! xD Yeah, I'm back in writing ficcies again after my long hiatus. And speaking of ficcies, I have my new site up, meaning that fics and arts that are never posted before will finally be publish in there. Yes people! Everyone can finally read the greatness of Umi-chii XD I can write people! I can! I'm just too damn lazy to type them down x.X; Anyways, on the sidenote, I've already typed and edited those three chapters of Fragments, and some other of Reflection and Lost Memories. It'll take time though, for me to write them down. Anyways, enough of that and lets get on with the main plot!

Obviously, this fic is inspired by my new bestie friend (Yeah, Umi-chii is fast in having best friends xD) Schyra-_kun_ x3 for making her fic Over Hang (You guys must read it! XD) which is a Lucia/Haru and Sieg/Haru. But no, my story this time is either of those pairings. Yes, people. As a huge Shuda/Sieg fan, I've finally come to the point of writing the world's first ever Shuda/Sieg fic, in English! D I mean, few people ever write yaoi Rave stories, and those people usually use Musica/Haru x.X; Well, except for the other two and Schyra-chan D

BUT! Most of their stories are Shuda/Musica, Lucia/Haru or Sieg/Haru. I want it to change. I want them to look at the not to cracky side. I want them to look at the uber coolness and fluffy-ness of Shuda/Sieg! D I want them to take on the much dramatic and romantic side of that pairing. Who knows, maybe even the angsty part. (If you add Cattleya in the pairing.. oO)

Anyways, enough of my ramblings that is becoming much longer than the ficcy itself. Finally, lets get on with the story.

Rating: Ranging from PG-13 to R probably.. o.O I don't know yet...  
Warning: Shounen-ai/Yaoi.. Angst and of course, Blood. Yes, there's blood especially in this chapter.  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg, Musica/Niebel, Sieg+Haru  
Summary: Sieg is having trouble with his own feelings toward a certain swordsman, while Shuda is questioning his own heart of who he truly love, as the two wanders off to their past together...

Note: This chapter is more on Sieg and his angsty side. Not to mention this chapter is focused more on his own past than his childhood ones with Shuda so... Yeah. Not to mention that there's blood, fire, and gore in here. Not to mention the ever angst that I so love to use in my fics... D Sieggy Angst Ahoy, Maties!

By the way, Umi-chii wanna thank teh uber coolness of Schyra-chan for beta-reading my ficcy! - Thanks a lot, hun! tackleglomps

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**Shrouded Love, Forgotten Memory**

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Chapter One: A Glimpse of the Past

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Cold winter wind bit his bare shoulder as those calm azure eyes gazed at the outstretched sea, now covered with frosted snow. Funny that winter reached Mildean earlier than expected. But then again, this city always brought out the unexpected of one's heart.

Sieg stared silently at the snow-covered sea and let his mind wander. Wander to the point of a memory that made him flinch. But his soul had already left the path of conscious. It's gone with the winds, flying south, searching for the freedom it will never have. For all his life, that certain wish is all he wants. All he's searching for. The feeling of freedom, to be finally away from the corrupt of the world, to be out of his inner turmoil's grasp. Once he even considered killing himself, letting the cold metal of a dagger slide through his wrist, staring at the blood that oozed out of his skin, dripping onto the cold marble floor of his room. If it wasn't for the maid screaming in fear, he would be gone now. His soul happily seated in the heavens above, watching and laughing over the foolishness of mankind.

But no. His acts were disturbed. They were hindered by the so-called feeling of love. It keep him from having his only wish, his search for freedom. Yet now, it is this feeling that made him question his existence in this world of confusion.

_"Mother, is the Earth always like this?" A young child asked his mother, innocent blue eyes wide with wonder._

_"Yes, my son. Why question it?" His mother smiled back at him._

_"Well, it's so confusing. Other people hate each other, while others love. And sometimes, other people stare at me... As if they were afraid of me..." The boy answered, looking down at the grass that surrounds both him and his mother._

_"They simply stare at you because they're wondering who you are." She said, eyeing her son who is staring at a butterfly flying around the green field. Then, the boy suddenly smiled, a simple smile that made his mother smile too._

Holding out his hand to the air, a butterfly landed on it. Sieg stared at it, memories of a shrouded past coming back to him in a sudden moment. Then, with a shift of the wind, the butterfly fluttered its wings and flew away, letting azure eyes trail itself to oblivion.

_Flames surround his sight as he tries to gain strength against the mob of soldiers and servants trying to bring him to safety. Hot tears flowed unchecked from his eyes as he tried to grab his mother, insisting on her coming with him. _

'Why, mother? Why waste your Eternal Life for a human?To amere mortal?'

But he himself is also a mortal, with an Eternal Youth he may be.

_"Mother!" He cried, his throat sore from yelling and crying. Another flow of tears burst from his eyes as he fought against his guardians' hold, wanting nothing more than to go to Hell along with his mother. He wanted to leave the living world anyway. Why stop him whenever he is close to his goal?_

_A hand suddenly grabbed him forcefully at the neck while a maiden's scream was heard through the raging sound of the fire and the echoed cries of those that were burned in the remains of Mildean. _

_Blood suddenly splattered over his left cheek, as he stared at a huge bulky man slitting the throat of one of the servants, a young maiden barely at the age of 16. The man revealed himself, a scar crossing his right eye, while the rest of him are in messed-up way. An unpleasant sight for royalty like him. Young he may be, but he knows his taste._

_Without further thought of his servant's murderer, the hand holding his neck suddenly tighten. His mouth opened in a silent scream, fear tingling his every nerve, his breath being held down. His hands grasped his would-be killer, trying to pry the hand away from his neck. Tears started to run from his eyes as he started to struggle against the man's grip on his neck, suffocating him to death. Funny, he wanted to die just a second ago, but then now he is striving to live. _

_As he fought harder, the grip on his neck become tighter. But just then, the sudden image of his mother's corpse, bled to death, a spear straight through her gut pinning her down to the ground lying in a pool of her own celestial blood. _

'Blood... That is all I see whenever I look at you... Your eyes remind me of them... Why? Why do you bring such thoughts for me to ponder?'

_The bloody image brought a sudden churn in his stomach, his heart clenched as a sudden heat spread through his whole body. Hot streams of tears race from his eyes again, as a bolt of thunder spread through his veins, cold ice touching his insides while raging fire boils his blood. The pain was unbearable. It was worse than being burnt alive on a stake. It's worse. _

_Yet it feels comforting against the sight of blood in every corner of his vision..._

_Without caring who he was, who he's with, where he was and what he's doing, he finally let out the cry he was holding. His mind screaming at the unbearable pain. And it was then, that storm clouds gather at the burning Mildean, making it rain, and soon, lightning and thunder where heard._

_The thunder struck those that gave threats, while the lightning instilled fear in those who strike. The cold biting wind cutting through every soul, searching for their weakness as the rain washes the blood away, making a red-crimson river of grief. But of all the thunder, one struck the young boy, sending about bolts of blue lightning, shocking the devil holding him with the intent of his death. The man cried out in pain and soon was thrown into a mass of fire, as the boy clutched onto his own body, crying out at the pain, screaming now and then._

_And soon, the fire engulfed him, the smell of burning corpses, a stench in the air with its unwanted odor. Pale azure eyes stared at the fire, watching as the rain did nothing to hinder the fire but to spread its rage even more. Closing his eyes, he wondered. _

_'Will I ever truly be free now?'_

_'No... You're not. You'll never be... As you are destined to live forever, with your soul left in a past of decay and anguish.'_

_That voice answered him... It answered him in such a cold way it made him shiver no matter how hot it is being surrounded by this flame._

_'Who are you...?'_

_Those pale azure eyes asked, staring at the sky seeking answers, mocking the gods in their cowardice of hiding from the sight of the humans. And then he closed his eyes, as he feels the irony of speaking to himself in the time of his death..._

_'...I am the end of the world... I am the Chronicler of Time... And I am now your Master...'_

_Pale azure eyes suddenly become ice cold sapphire as they opened and glared at the heavens. No way is he going to be a slave to a spirit that only exists in a fool's mind. He is no slave to another soul, as no soul wants to serve him. _

_'I can give you the power of survival... The power that can lead you to your freedom...'_

_Just then, the eyes gave a sudden glint of surprise, wonder, relief, and even anger. As he began to think more, his consciousness started to slip, his body went numb, and then he had fallen into his knees. _

_'I am the God of Birth and Destruction...'_

_He tried to stay conscious, wanting to hear more of the voice speaking in his head. He wants to live. He didn't care anymore, of taking his pride with him to the darkest and coldest pit of hell. All he wants is to gain that power, to have that freedom. He extended his arm, as if trying to grasp something in the air. And then his body went limp._

_'I am Chronos...'_

_And he heard nothing more as all he saw is the dreaded darkness of one's death. A cold agonizing death it was, yet it left a mark for the world to remember the grudging past of a once rich and beautiful city. It left a mark symbolizing the pain of those that die in the ambush, whose corpses are burned by the merciless rage of the fire. A mark that will forever leave an impression for those that have seen the last of the lost royal family of Mildean, the agonizing torture they've suffered in the heat of flames from hell. It left the mark on the last of the Harts..._

'And truly I am the last... I shall take the pain my ancestors have faced with me to my grave... But then, when will that happen..?'

He let his mind wonder even more, and it was then that he saw the sweet smile, the sparks of unhidden happiness in those mahogany eyes. It was then that it brought him back to the present.

Blinking, Sieg tried to think straight. Thinking of what had just happened. And then he felt it. A warmth spreading throughout his body, a firm but gentle hold on his right shoulder. Glancing up, he saw those auburn eyes, but now lacking the presence of the other and the sparkle of a shining hope that he always saw in his memories.

"We're leaving early tomorrow morning so you better get some sleep now."

His voice is gruff and with that said, he turns around and leaves the snow-covered field. He does not even notice the moonlight shining at him, creating a heavenly aura around him. Blinking again, Sieg averted his sight from Shuda and returned his gaze back to the ocean. How he went against his master's orders, he didn't know. But maybe, just maybe, it was for the sake of a love that he is unsure of.

...Maybe it will also lead him to his freedom... That he didn't know.

'Why not leave it to whoever are above to decided then?' He thought idly and he too, stand up and leave the grassy plain, sparing a last glance at the starlit sky and frosted sea.

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Can You Remember?

Disclaimer: I don't own Rave but I do own this story's plot. Well, kind of.. o.O

OKAY! Umi-chii is back on rolling the tape! Heck, it seems like Rave section will never get updated without me doing mine first x.X But heck, I got my mp3 on, and my throat is so damn sore xx; Must be because of too much singing in the class...

Anyways, hopefully, I can bring out some good... erm.. yaoi in here...o.o;

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**Shrouded Love, Forgotten Memories**

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**Chapter 2: Can You Remember?

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The wind shifted as the ship took another turn in the sky. They will arrive soon in Mildean, and Sieg is already dreading at the fact. Everybody is inside the ship's cabin, playing poker or whatever game Elie have come up with again. But him, being the ever cold and silent Sieg Hart keeps to himself out in the deck, ignoring the cold bites of the autumn wind.

Gazing at the stars, cold winter eyes look up at the starless sky and starts his weird habit of letting his mind wander.

_"Shuda-kun!"_

'Shuda...'

_"Hayaku! Shuda-kun!"_

'Can you remember the old days...?'

_"Shuda-kun! Tasukete!"_

'Where your smile is so pure?'

_"Gomenasai, Shuda-kun..."_

'...And I still have my freedom...'

_"Ore wa... Hontou daisuki ga, Shuda-kun!"_

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"OI! SHUDA! Kimi ga doko ka!"

Musica yelled around the already landed ship, looking for the said swordsman. Shuda has been missing for the past twenty minutes, and Sieg is already tapping his foot against the wooden floor of the deck impatiently, glaring at the poor silversmith's back, wincing ever so slightly from the sun's flare while Haru is trying his very best to carry every luggage Elie had.

"Mou! Elie! These are too many!"

"Taku! Its just two!" Elie yelled at Haru, whacking him in the head with an unknown frying pan. The two have been quarreling since last night and til now, their bickering aren't even over yet. How Sieg wonder why he changed his mind to help these guys...

_"Sieg! Oi Sieg! Matte!"_

On top of the ship, Shuda looked at the town of Mildean. It had changed greatly since the past 10 years. The past Tower of Mishakal is gone into ruins, and has been replaced by a tower with a huge hourglass and another clock beneath. The Royal Palace too have changed. Gone to the three famed Towers of Judgement, and so is the Balcony of Gallery. Now, they are now replaced by Mildeus' castle. The old time mage Mildeus. Not the former king of Mildean, Mildeus, the father of Sieg Hart.

_"Baka! Daijoubu desu ka!"_

In just 10 years, it have changed miraculously. Even the format of the town and neighboring valleys have changed. Such a wonder that someone as old as this Mildeus had. But still...

_"He hates me, Sieg... I know that..."_

'Why didn't you come to take over and keep him from this torture?'

_"Dakara... Sayonara... Watashi wa no Mildea..."_

"How many years has it been...?"

"Oi! Shuda! There you are! We've been looking everywhere for you, ya know!"

Shuda's head turned and saw Musica climbing to the roof of the ship. The wind blowing hard on their coats, sending its tails flapping in the air.

"The ship have already landed and everyone is waiting for you to go down. Better hurry up, Shuddy!" With that said, Musica quickly jumped off the roof before Shuda can even yell at him. But he wasn't going to do that...

'Taku... Where were you? Its been ten years and still you're missing... Did you know how you're hurting him?'

Pushing old memories to the back of his mind, Shuda turned around and mimicked Musica's move. Then, he started his way to the nation of memories, Mildean.

...Where everything started and will end with the sad symphony of beauty and agony.

**To Be Continued...**


	3. Breaking the Silence

Disclaimer: Umi-chii doesn't own Rave, but she does own this fic's main plot and hailed ShudaxSieg as the best yaoi pairing of Rave aside from LuciaxHaru. 

...FWEEH! X3 Have finally wrote down SLFM's chapter three! I wrote this somewhere in Chinese class, since I'm absolutely bored, so yeah... Please read and review! .

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**.: Shrouded Love, Forgotten Memories :.**

**.: Breaking the Silence :.**

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Mildean, capital of secrecy, where magic dwells at its best. Even the power of a sword alone had been despised. Those who botth handle sword with sorcery though, is another story as a dark crimson orb look down the kingdom with scorn. 

+ 

Sieg sighed. _Again._

It had been the umpteenth time since he heard the loud banging across his shared room, and he can't help bbut just... well, sigh. Looking up from the book he's reading, he eyed the wall suspiciously, waiting for it to explode.

_Remind me to stay away from them..._ He thought gloomily. Sadly though, his roommate isn't quite the silent complaining type...

Beside the bed Sieg's sitting on, Shuda's eyebrow twitch and twiced. With another sounding boom, it twitched even more that a vein starts to pop out, twitching.

_If those morons don't stop now..._ Clutching the hilt of his sword tighter, Shuda gloomed all over wearing a rather scary expression, sending his dark aura throughout the whole room.

Sieg, who's sitting in the bed beside him, sensed the dark murderous aura and suddenly stared at the man, hinted the glint of murder in the red head's eye.

Coughing slightly to gain the other's attention, Sieg said, "You know, you _really_ don't have to slice the wall down just to shut them up, because it does not only add up the bills I have to pay, but it also disturb... No, _ruin_ the privacy we both cherish."

"And that privacy is currenty being disturbed by those _idiots_ beyond _our_ wall."

"But--" Before Sieg can even stop the other though, the samurai quickly stomp out of the room, slamming the door shut with a rather painful bang.

And soon, loud yells can be heard across the room Sieg stays. Sighing again, Sieg just closed his eyes and bury his head in the fluffy pillow and drift off to sleep, clutching at the hem of the warm sheets of his bed.

Closing the door behind him qith a shut, Shuda stalk the room bathe with the moonlight quietly. The hotel they were staying at is at the edge of the cliff with the courtesy of Sieg, thats why the their room is facing the ocean below gave them the advantage of its beautiful quality.

Taking off his coat and hanging it at a stand, Shuda proceeded into stripping. It was when he's putting on his night pants did he heard a low groan.

Twisting his head to his left, he glance at the sleeping figure behind him, sprawled rather sensually in the bed.

Finally tying the last knot of his pants, he went to his bed and lifted the bedsheet. He would have lay down and close his eye if the _irresistible_ sound didn't let itself be heard.

Glancing at the mage again, Shuda's eyebrows furrowed together and dare to make any tingly sound.

_...Tingly! What the..._

Widening his eyes slightly, Shuda let himself blink and when he heard an even louder _moan_ up to the extent of being _demanding_, it hit him with a rock when the resounding moan was followed by a name in a rather lustrous high-pitch tone, and his eye remain as wide as it get, and he didn't get to sleep anymore.

Why?

Easy.

Its _his_ name.


End file.
